heartbeat
by qurz058
Summary: Her eyes opened to the youngster's chest. *thump-thump*. She could feel his arm over her waist and his breath at her forehead. It made her feel warm and nice. She looked up to his face, searching for his green eyes. "Morning"
1. Chapter 1

_...deathly silence..._  
_"Mi-" _

_...before the pool of blood... _  
_"Mikasa!" _

_...after a loud scream... _  
_"Fight!" _

_...pitch black.._.

She opened her eyes into a small room, illuminated by the dim light of a candle by the bed.

"Mikasa" it called again. That voice that seemed so distant, echoing on the back of her head. "It's okay now. Stop trembling" it ordered, calming her somehow.  
Indeed, her body had been trembling.

She turned 'till she locked her black-blue eyes with a pair of green ones that watched on top of her. They were familiar to her, but she couldn't recall ever seen such concerned look upon others' eyes.

"Mikasa?"

The girl reached out her hand to touch the boy's face. He quivered at the cold contact, but left her do her way and closed his green eyes, as she slowly passed her hand from his smooth hair though his warm cheeks.

_thump-thump_. She felt his heartbeat under her fingers at his neck. _thump-thump_. That meant he was alive _thump-thump_ that he wasn't a dream.

She retired her hand from the boy's skin, and moved back to the fetal position she had been sleeping in. Her throat was made into a knot, and it wouldn't let the air pass as the memories invaded her thoughts.

It had happened. Losing it all in one night seemed so unreal, that it still felt so distant. As if it had just been a nightmare; the only place were such beautiful green eyes could show so much hate.

The body by her side made it's way into the individual bed. An arm wrapped her by the shoulders, and it's hand grabbed her's. The heartbeat from before hit against her back.

She looked over her left shoulder. He was lying against her, his face hidden into the scarf around her neck. He was hugging her.

_thump-thump_.

"Your mouth" he looked over the red fabric, focusing his eyes on her expressionless face "it's still bloody"

He let go of her hand, and licked his thumb. Next, she felt his touch by her mouth. "There" said as lifting off his finger and took her hand again "it was only a little scratch" he smiled.

The black-blue eyed left go of his hand and turned to face him completely. His eyes still had this concerned look over them, they also showed relief. But, over anything, they reflected how sleepy he was.

Her lips drew a small smile, surprising the boy who's eyes widened at the sight.

The girl held to him and leaned her head on his chest. _thump-thump_. He hugged her tight against him. _thump-thump_. And buried his face in her hair. _thump-thump_. He inhaled her sweet sent _thump-thump_ as she lulled to sleep with the rhythm of his heart.

"Arigatou, Eren"


	2. Chapter 2

His eyes were full of anger, full of questions. He started debuting his words as soon as they left his mouth. Wasn't he acting heartless? Was it the right thing to say?

His body was close enough for her to listen to his risen heartbeat; his nose verily touching her's. Kept their eyes wide opened, looking back at the other's, unable to break the connection as they searched for an answer.

_What did you mean?  
Was this okay?_

Eren had meant no harm. He did it because... Why did he do it? He had a reason before pulling her into his rough act. But now he had none, and everything seemed pointless.

Mikasa couldn't tell his intentions behind it. She could usually read through those green eyes of his, but now there was no real emotion shown on them.

They stud in silence for another minute before he gave a step back. His face was red, his tight fists trembled on his sides, though she didn't notice. Neither did he noticed that her respiration had stopped, nor how her lips slowly lost the little color they had left.

He finally broke the connection with her black-blue gaze. "Sorry" he mumbled before walking away, turning his back on her.

She fell backwards, gasping for air. She felt her heart beating violently inside her chest. Her face and hands felt hot and her legs were shaking.

She had to close her eyes to protect them from the sunlight that filtered through the leaves of the tree as she looked up. Mom had once told her a word known by their people for this kind of light. "_Ko... Komorebi_".

Her heart started aching. "Mom".  
Couldn't let it spread further.

Got on her feet, as hiding her mouth and nose with the red scarf. Took the first step "Eren" and a second one before starting running back to the village. "Eren"

She ran directly to the Jaeger's house, since she still couldn't walk alone through the unknown streets without getting lost. The door was opened but nobody was home. Dr. Jaeger had gone to Wall Maria to attend something, Carla had gone to the market for bread, and Eren and herself were supposed to be playing outside the village.

She sat on the floor, under the window opposite to the kitchen, with her arms hugging her legs tight against her and her face between her knees. The house was cold and she felt lonely.

This was no home. Where was home? She used to have one, but it had been turned into an empty house. This was no empty house, this place had people living in it. People who took her and gave her a place to stay.

Maybe Eren was right and the reason they hadn't turned into her family, and couldn't make of this place her home ether, was because she wouldn't let them.  
But she wanted them to be?

The door opened violently, hitting against the wall, followed by his voice: "Mikasa?! Are you here?" He sounded desperate, worried to dead.

Got up and walked 'till she stud in front of him, looking back into his eyes that slowly filled with a million of encountered feelings, 'till they showed non. "Mikasa" he mumbled breathless.

The air between them turned colder, and the hole on her chest ached once more. "Eren"

His green eyes burned before he shouted "**Where the hell have you been?! Why the fuck didn't you follow me back?! Have you any idea of how I felt when I turned back and didn't see you? Shit! Say something already!**"

"Could it be" a shy voice interrupted his furious questions "that you were careless and just walked away?" the blond kid with blue eyes that Eren had presented her a week earlier asked "Isn't that it, Mikasa? You stayed back at the field and just came back, right?"

She nodded once.

Eren sighted "Fine" he looked back at his friend "Thanks for helping me out, Armin". The other boy smiled at his non-sarcastic words and parted, leaving her alone with the green eyed who looked back at her and asked: "Are you alright?"

She could see now in his eyes how concerned he was. It meant he cared for her. "I'm fine". She wanted him to keep caring and to care for him too. Her eyes burned with decision as she said "Everything will be alright".


	3. Chapter 3

"Mikasa, come over here" the green eyed boy called from the little room they shared which, she noticed while entering, had the covers and the pillows arranged by the bed, on the floor where he waited for her lying down on his belly. "Look" said as holding up a thick, old book "Armin left it to us, so you could see it" he patted at the spot by his side "but having one of this is illegal, so you must keep it a secret".

She made her way through the mess and sat in front of him as he placed the book between them. Opened it in a page near the middle, where it appeared a strange image with the words: underground crystal pillars, México and in a small letter a lot of information.

"Does this really exists?" she asked with a finger over the page.

His smile widened "it does" he changed of page "everything in this book does" he looked into her black-blue eyes "they are all outside the walls".

They saw the images, page by page, he would talk about the thing or place shown with enthusiasm, and she would listen carefully to the wonders without taking her eyes off the boy.

An hour passed before he noticed the way she stared at him.

"Is this why you want to leave the walls?" she asked dryly, almost coldly. That could be the answer to a question she had been making to herself since the boy infront of her and the owner of the book, Armin, confessed their wishes to go to the outside world.

The kid scratched his head and looked back at her nervously. "Partly" he opened the book on the last page and gave the book to the black haired "This is what I want to see the most".

The image in the page showed water of different shades of green and blue, with the sun rays reflecting over it in white, yellow and pink spotlights; and over this was a deep blue sky with fluffy clouds. At the top of the page, in big letters was wrote: Caribbean Sea.

"I want to go to the southern sea" he whispered and she looked back at him "since… we can't go to the Caribbean. Armin said it was way too far"

Her gaze returned to the page. She started reading the few information written on the page.

"Eren. Mikasa" Carla called from behind the door "you should be asleep. Blow the candle".

He didn't wait a second to do as his mother said, so they had to pick up the book and pillows in the dark. Took off their boots and entered the sheets, comforted by their closeness as her head laid against his shoulder.

Five minutes passed "Are you awake?" He asked in a whisper. She pressed her chest tighter against his arm as an answer.

He sighted and turned over his shoulder 'till his chest was against her's. Passed his arm over her shoulders and through her back, turned over his', placing the girl over his body. "You know… you could come too... to the sea" he offered.

Her eyes wide opened, enlightening the blue in them with the light of the moon. Searched for his green ones in the dark as many voices talked inside her head. Too many thoughts looking into her wish, her dream.

_Fight_ he had told her when their life was threaten. Now she could fight for her dream to become a reality.

"I'll bring you with me" he kept talking "after I've sliced the titans, I'll get you out and take you to the sea, Mikasa"

Her only wish. He had offered it: the place at his side. Her dream.


	4. Chapter 4

She patted his back as he sobbed against his knees.

He hated Wall Rose. He hated the selfish people who lived in it. He hated the fucking titans. He missed his mother so damn much.

He knew the girl by his side did too, but her feelings weren't half as intense as his. Or so he thought, since she didn't say a damn.

But her eyes were the ones too talk, they had turned colder, they had hardened as she saw the only part left of her home fill with anger and hate, as he changed his wish for vengeance.

What about her wish? Was it the same or had it changed too? Like Armin's, like Eren's.

It didn't mater, the objective was the same. But there was one step that had turned harder to accomplish: protect it.

In order to be by his side, she needed to protect him. Not like in Wall Maria. She wouldn't be keeping him from fights, or taking him out of them. No, this time she would fight with him, for him.

And hope to see his green eyes glow with pure happiness again.

* * *

His blue eye were over the two brothers. Mikasa stud between them with her eyes hollow, as Eren cried his anger out.

Couldn't decide who suffered more. The green eyed boy, who saw how he lost everything. Or the cold eyed girl, who had lost her family again.

He couldn't bring himself to compare his pain with their's. His image in the mirror wasn't nearly as broken as their's.

Though he was in pain.

* * *

"Next year we'll join the Scouting Legion"

That words she had feared since the dark haired kid told her the steps to fulfill his wish. But today his wish had one last step: go to the sea.

Sill, the black-blue eyed had her own wish. She would use the memory of his old wish to incite her's.

Took a deep breath of warm air though the red scarf. "I'll go too".

"You don't have to" he said, without knowing her intentions.

That part of her wish "I'll keep us safe" had to become her duty "_so that we can walk the path together_".

* * *

"Why do you do this?" he mumbled over her head at midnight. The boy had just turned and held her tight, making the shivering stop. "You don't even want me to join the Scouting Legion" he insisted even after hearing her reasons earlier that afternoon. He needed a convincing answer, an explanation at least. "So why do you?"

She stud still and breathed slowly, as if she were asleep; she hopped the boy would follow her example.

"Mikasa?" He called once again and waited for an answer she never gave.

His breathing slowed down, _thump-thump_. So did his heartbeat, _thump-thump_. She could hear it, _thump-thump_, beating inside his chest, _thump-thump_, against her head, _thump-thump_. It meant he was alive ithump-thump/i. That he hadn't left her alone, _thump-thump_. She closed her eyes.


	5. Chapter 5

The eyes opened up first, as he always did. He slowly untangled his legs from Mikasa's and loosen his wrap over her. He tried arranging the parts of her hair he had messed up while sleeping, and waited 'till she opened her black-blue eyes.

Such had been morning routine back at home since she became family. They'd become used to each others company in bed. During her first months in the house, Mikasa often asked him to hold her as she slept (which was better and warmer than sleeping on the floor).

But since they arrived to the farm, even if they still shared space, he would only hold her occasionally.

Like last night. He woke up at midnight or so, and felt her body against his. Couldn't resist passing an arm over her shoulder, and graving her hand like before. As the night passed, they changed positions 'till they came into theirs. And he would wake up with just enough time to arrange their position a bit.

Her eyes opened to the youngster's chest. _thump-thump_. She could feel his arm over her waist and his breath at her forehead. It made her feel warm and nice. She looked up to his face, searching for his green eyes.  
"Morning"

She stood up, lifting the weight off his chest, allowing him to sit down. He watched as she collected her stuff and got ready to go into the bathroom.

Today was the girls' turn to shower, tomorrow would be boys' and then girls', and so on.

He hated these days. Generally, older guys would be peeking into the shower to see the girls naked, and then would go commenting over their bodies while working. So he was always walking around the bath building, picking fights against those perverts.

Today was no exception. He kicked out an idiot who was peeking through a hole on the locker's wall.

He waited for Mikasa at the door and walked her to the dining room. As Eren joined Armin at the line, she went searching for a place to sit.

"You should stop that" the blond one whispered as if he had been talking to himself. Eren looked at him estranged. "I know you guys are close, so I don't mind you doing it. But people have started talking-"

"Let them talk shit" said the dark haired with no intention of controlling the volume of his voice, calling the attention of the nearest people. "I don't care about their fucking opinion"

"Eren" the blue eyed lowered his voice once more "its calling the attention over Mikasa". The brunette buffed. "I've heard the comments". The other kid's eyes wide opened as his brain processed the words, his respiration stopped. "'I also want to cuddle with a cute girl'. 'Wouldn't it be nice a night with her?' 'I wonder what she hides under those old, baggy clothes'" Armin waited before continuing "I get you don't _give a shit_ for other's opinion. But you care for her". His green eyes searched for an answer on his blond friend. "Protect her".

They took their plates back to a table by the center, where the black-blue eyed girl waited for them.

That afternoon, while working, he heard the comments too.

Armin looked at him, expectant. But he didn't say a word and continued working, deep inside thinking over his friend's solution.

The best solution.


	6. Chapter 6

He threw himself to the bed with a big smile on his face, and the blue eyed couldn't blame him. After all they had made it! They had entered the military. Now they formed part of the 104th Trainee Squad.

Armin sat by his friend on the bunker. A big smile spread on his face too, though he was exhausted. They had been at the training field learning hand to hand combat and he had been paired with a girl named Ymir; much easier partner than Eren's: Annie (better not get in her way). Whatever, Ymir was taller and stronger than him, making his moves more strategic than forceful.

"Hey, Armin" the green eyed called in a weak whisper "why are you smiling?"

"I-I guess" …no guess "...I'm just feeling happy".

The boy laid down by his friend's side, looking up to heaven, were his family was. He sill cried his grandpa's dead from time to time, but for some reason, he hadn't been able to do the same for his parents since long. Maybe he didn't want to keep regretting their choice, now that he meant to follow their steps. That idea made him feel happy, he guessed. "Hey, Eren"

"Hmmm?" the dark haired mumbled half asleep. Upss. "Wha's it?"

"Uh, nothing". Took off his boots and made his way into the blankets, trying to follow his companion's example. "Just don't hug me at midnight". Blew off the candle by their bunker.

He could feel the other's rash movements to sit down. "S-Shut the fuck up". Next the sound of the green eyed fist against the upper bunker. "Shit, I haven't done that since you told me your bright idea".

There it went his good mode. He knew it would be something difficult for them. "Sorry it didn't work" even after he told the black haired to stop cuddling with Mikasa, people kept talking though, and the girl became colder and colder. He felt guilty about causing pain to his friends.

"Nah" the boy's head cooled. He returned to his spot in bed and sighted. "It worked, but not as well as we expected". Both of them remembered. The comments and the interest on the asian girl lowered, and the ones on Eren became almost null. "Knock it off. You gave me a good option and I gave it a shot".

Silence took over the atmosphere, so did awkwardness. The blond one didn't feel any better by his friend's assurance, while the green eyed recalled Mikasa's expression in the morning.

"Don't you miss it?" the blue eyed kid asked with a shaky voice. "You know, cuddling with her?"

Eren turned over his shoulder, turning his back on his friend. "Good night, Armin".


	7. Chapter 7

No one could hear their splashing steps under the sound of the heavy rain. Mikasa lost from for instance the blurry sight of Eren's back, but eventually found it, and so on. But she wouldn't dare to run by his side.

Their comrades where at the building, receiving theory lessons as they were running extra laps for discussing during breakfast. Well, he disused, she just commented once and it wasn't even loud. However that had been enough for the captain to afflict her officially. If Eren had been sent out during a storm without her, she would have skipped the rules and followed him any way.

"_You are a burden_" the green eyed had said "_you just keep getting in my way_".

She knew he didn't mean those words, he talked out of anger and frustration. But it still hurt. She should be used after so many times of listening to his words, she should know that they were just his way to loose his frustration. But she still couldn't take them.

Mikasa had stopped running. Fuck, she couldn't see the boy. She couldn't see what was in front of her, the rain covered the world as a wall.

"Eren!" The dark haired shouted over the noise of the rain. "Eren!" she continued running to the front as a lightning illuminated the sky.

"Eren!" she shouted again, trying to run through the rain blindly. Her feet slip on the floor and, even after attempting to regain her balance, she falls into the mud.

"Mikasa!"

Her black-blue eyes sparkled at the mention of her name. "Eren!" she stud up and followed his voice through the rain.

He heard his name again, she was calling out for him. That girl! He could swear they were almost back at the academy when he heard it the first time. He looked back and he didn't see her, but when she called him again his feet immediately changed direction, back into the storm as screaming: "Mikasa!"

The black-blue eyed tried to follow the calling of her name, so did he. They ran and ran, guided by the growing sound of each other's voices.

"Eren!"  
"Mikasa!"

They kept shouting each other's names and didn't stop running, hoping to be in the correct direction as their entire body soaked and their toes started to get numb.

"Eren!"  
"Mikasa!"

A lightning hit in front of her, missing her by inches. The girl knew she shouted out, but couldn't hear herself. "Eren! Eren!" She kept calling. "Eren!"

The black-blue eyed didn't move from her place, she couldn't follow his voice any more.

"Eren! Eren!"

The rain kept falling heavily, limiting her gaze from anything that was further than an inch. She was surprised by the feeling of dead weight clinging to her from her back.

Mikasa could see a pair of arms wrapped round her, and over her shoulders a soaked dark headed.

He slowly pulled her away and left her escape from his hug, just to take her hand and guide her through the rain.

They had been walking for less than ten minutes when she stopped and pulled him. "Eren" she called the wide eyed, "I can't hear you".

She knew he had been talking over the last five minutes because she saw his mouth moving, but she couldn't tell his words.

His lips continued before she repeated: "I can't hear you". The boy stud shocked in front of her, still clinging to her hand. "Don't worry, it's temporal".

Eren felt relieved by her last words. They kept walking, side to side; anxious to arrive to the academy. He wasn't anxious any more to tell her he was sorry. He had already done that.


	8. Chapter 8

_...deathly silence...  
"Mi-" _

_...before the melting corpse...  
"Mikasa" _

_...after a loud scream...  
"Mikasa!" _

_...pitch black..._

She opened her eyes into the bedroom, illuminated by the dim light of the moon outside the window.

"Mikasa" it called again. That voice that seemed so distant, echoing on the back of her head. "Are you okay? You seemed to be having a bad dream" it said anxiously.  
Indeed, she had been having a nightmare.

She turned to find her roommate, Sasha Braus, on top of her. Even with the little smile that decorated her face, it showed concern.

"I'm ok" the black-blue eyed whispered as sitting down. Her head was spinning and her limbs burned as hell. Even so, she stud up, walked through the room and opened the door. "Go back to sleep" ordered as closing the door, without hearing the brunette calling her name.

She walked the corridor barefoot, no direction in mind. That scary dream occupied her entire mind.

Adjusted the red scarf over her nose and inhaled warm air through it. It had been long since she last felt this scared, or this sad. But it had also been long since Carla's death.

Today, when the Special Operations Squad returned from training, while she practiced with the rest of the Scouting Legion, the atmosphere turned cold.

"Mikasa" Armin mumbled without air "Eren".

The world turned slow motion when her black-blue eyes caught his green ones behind all the bleeding.

After that, the only word she heard about him was from Levi, saying that her friend would _make it through_.

The dungeon hallway stood in front of her. She walked by the guard-on-duty who slept soundly by the heat of a torch, just before the cell _chibi heichou_ called a room.

Opened the door with the keys hanging to the left and took a step in. Felt the cold floor under her feet as she walked towards the bed, where the titan shiftier slept soundly.

Bandages stained with blood covered his forehead, from the roots of his hair to his eyebrows.

She walked to the other side of the bed and laid down by his side, pressing her chest against his back and closing her eyes.

Main while, Eren slowly opened his eyes, enough to expose their green color. The warmth behind him woke him up. It felt so familiar and nostalgic. He looked over his shoulder and saw beautiful black hair. "Mikasa?"

The girl looked up at his face, searching for his sleepy eyes. That's where he saw them. Her generally expressionless gaze had lost it's light. Her eyes had no longer blue in their black color.

"Mikasa..." he turned around. Once his entire body faced her's, she leaned her head on his chest. _thump-thump_. She heard his living heart, pumping inside him.

"Hug me?" pleaded in a crooked whisper that he couldn't answer. He felt awkward, they hadn't done this for ages because of the unnecessary attention it got. If they were found out, they would surely drag them into unwanted bullshit. No, he needed to send her back to her own bed.

She pleaded again.

His arms slowly moved towards her, 'till they surrounded the girl and pulled her against him. Buried his face in her hair and took a deep breath, filling his lungs with her sweet sent.


	9. Chapter 9

Eren woke up to find himself tangled against Mikasa, like when they were kids. But unlike that time, he made no effort to spread. Left his face buried between her messy hair, and their legs crossed between themselves. Felt her body close tight against him, and her head leaning against his chest.

Heard her dry voice from beneath his chin: "are you awake?" He held her tighter in response. She sighted.

Slightly opened his eyes and, without lifting off his jaw from her head, mumbled: "couldn't sleep?"

Felt the light movement over his chest that told him she hadn't. "Why not?"

Her head turned beneath his'. He looked down 'till he met her black-blue eyes. They were slowly recovering their light. Her cheeks had back their light tone of pink, and she had managed a little smile. Surprise took over his expression. It had been long since he last saw her like that.

The girl commented in a whisper "It's been a long time since we were like this".

He sighted. Four years. The first year felt like a torture, but he managed once they stopped sharing a bed, back at the military. "Sorry"

The girl moved her hand towards her mouth and licked her thumb. Next, he felt her touch by his eye. She lifted off her finger and placed her hand back into the little space between their bodies.

"Mikasa" he called, but he didn't know what to say. The dark haired sighted and turned over his back, moving the girl over his body. "Why are you here?" he insisted.

She took a minute, looked away and said: "I had a nightmare". Though her voice had been normal (for her voice) Eren could notice something off. He waited. "You were gone".

He knew what it would mean if they lost each other: they's be losing both home and family. It was his duty to protect his family. He would go mad if something happened to Mikasa, and he knew the same would happen to her if it was the other way. And he didn't like that.

"I wanted your heartbeat to tell me you are alive" the girl continued as placing a hand over his chest. "That I'm not alone".

His green eyes gazed up to the roof. "You'll never be alone, 'cause I'm not going to die" he took a breath, conscious that there was no way to guarantee that. He sighted "and even if something happened, you've got someone to run to Mikasa" he looked back at her "you've got Armin, and Sasha, Christa and Ymir" the boy managed a smile "you even got Hanji... Just honor me and don't stick to Jean, or Levi" or any other guy pretty much.

She made no effort to respond, or even move at all. Her mind had gotten tangled in the possibility of something bad happening. Heard him calling her name.

"Eren" she managed in a broken murmur "why are you telling me this?"

Her eyes had stopped gaining light once again, but he couldn't notice until he sat down and forced her to sit over his lap and look back at him "Because" he said roughly "I don't want you acting all shitty if I'm gone for good" he didn't like his own tone, but he knew no other way to make her understand "Armin told me about last time, that was way too stupid. I thought you had meditated it and moved over, even when you thought I was dead, so I didn't bother" his own eyes started getting wet "but now you're here, all broken 'cause of a fucking nightmare. Screw it Mikasa! It's not real! I'm here and you aren't alone. You got that?"

She did. But it wouldn't make it any easier if the time came. She wouldn't let it happen.  
Her eyes burned ice cold as she regained her own will. "I get it".


End file.
